But first, Uber, McDonald’s, Intel, Aenta. Nobody said this was going to be a short video.
LOCHTE’S SPONSOR HANGS TIGHT
Lochte’s sponsor is standing by him even after making up the entire story about being robbed and still not admitting that the reason he kicked down the bathroom door was because he had to take a huge dump.
“I respect the athletic performance of Ryan, and as long as he is a respectable athlete, he will remain the U.S. ambassador for Airweave….” – Japanese mattress manufacture Airweave.
MS. CHEAT SHEET
No mention of needing to be a “respectable human?” Cool.
It seems like there’s an unwritten rule that if you cheat to win the game, you’re out. But if you’re just a grade-A douche, it’s fine. Nike kept Tiger Woods but dumped Lance Armstrong. Write that down.
(I would be comfortable ending the newsletter here, but I won’t. You have expectations and I need to meet them).
THE WORST IDEA EVER.
Financial advisors are asking their clients if they want to take “due diligence” trips with them.
“The trips offered the chance to do the kind of due diligence that professional investors, backed by hundreds of millions of dollars, routinely do before making large investments but that individual investors, even those worth millions of dollars, usually do not.”
Why, you ask?
“Advisers often struggle to communicate a complicated investment thesis to clients who may be successful in business in their own right but are less sophisticated when it comes to investing their personal wealth.”
MS. CHEAT SHEET
Aside from the Whopperrito, this is the worst idea in 2016. The reason why you have a sophisticated financial advisor (who is picking these alleged sophisticated deals) is so you don’t have to take your time to do the due diligence. What else are you paying them for?
And, if the advisor can’t communicate the “complicated investment” to you, I would bet you 250 Chia Pets that the advisor doesn’t understand the strategy.
Maybe I’m being a little harsh. Perhaps these trips are good for people who have a lot of time and were handed a lot of family money or something.
But seriously, your advisor is probably getting paid a nice fee as a result of you investing in a given fund or strategy in a rainforest in Brazil, so of course they want to take you on their boondoggle. Duh.
Ford also announced a self-driving car this week. Ford’s self-driving cars have no steering wheel, no brakes, and no accelerator. These are “Level 4” self-driving.
MS. CHEAT SHEET
Self-driving levels are like green juice levels.
I’m going to hang out in the Level 2 zone for a while: risky enough to get the job done but safe enough to not do any internal damage.
Well over half of Apple’s revenues still come from the iPhone.
Maybe that’s why hedge funds are selling Apple.
Then again, hedge funds are hemorrhaging assets so they have to sell something.
Speaking of selling, I have been getting my you-know-what handed to me over the last few years on this investment but I held on. Hopefully you didn’t sell your Emerging Market stock fund during Brexit. They’re now up 13% for the year.
Other things in recovery, Lochte hired Bieber’s former PR agent who also happens to be a top crisis publicist. Lochte’s lawyer has denied Lochte lied to police. This lengthy letter from Lochte, surely prompted by the crisis 911 agent, admits he did lie to the police. The Lawyer is now missing. Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen, with the knife.
Have a nice weekend – Kathryn.